Life is hard--especially when you have a big mouth like I do. I was reading in the newspaper today that there are three types of relationshipss: Romantic; Passionate; Companiable. The Romantic has sex, deep caring, love and all the things that the word conjures up. It lasts a lifetime. Passionate is what the word describes. It has short term validity but not long term viability. Companionable is what many marriaages slip into. Sex is not a big factor, there is a comfortable sense of well being. It can last into the long term, but is less fulfilling than a Romantic relationship. For those in this type of relationship who come to realize it the relationship is in danger.
Well Bonnie came home at 6:10 today and I told her about the article and that I thought we were companionable. She said, "I'm sorry about sex." I said, "Don't be sorry, it isn't your fault it is your Dads. He's the one who abused you." I also said that we are taking steps to move beyond the companiable. We have our weekly date on Friday nights, the fact that she said she loved me today (she used to never say it to either Ian or me), the fact that she is more Demonstrative in the relationship and the fact that I tell her I love her [and mean it] and that I married her not for sex but because she was the kindest person I'd ever met.
I didn't mean to hurt her, but it just sliped out. She is in a hard place cause her father abused her sexually when she was little. She doesn't come and sex is something that she does without pleasure. She did say that, "I get twinges of sexual thoughts about you but you know they don't last".
I myself have to say that I pray that my lust be lessened, and God does that for me. Prayer is answered. Yet sometimes it isn't and I find myself lusting in my heart and abusing my body. Life is hard, but you must play the hand that is dealt to you. Lord help me play that hand.
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